Never Meant for This...

HIATUS

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 00:18:10 GMT

THIS JOURNAL IS NOW ON HIATUS.

SEE HERE FOR DETAILS

Mon, 18 Jun 2007 01:36:25 GMT

Replacement furniture; taken care of. Groceries for stocking Katsuya's repaired kitchen; accounted for. Everything the apartment needed had been attended to, so to anyone with a serious disposal, Jun's insisting on going to the shopping center in Aoba was nothing short of unnecessary.

But Jun is there, all the same, a list in his hands as he tucks his bangs out of his face while examining it. His same, faded blue uniform is equipped, one of two that he owns and little else. Tatsuya had refused to let him go out in public wearing his friend's much to large garments, so Jun had changed.

So picky sometimes. It wasn't as though he was here to see anyone, or for an occasion. Jun really just wanted to get a few flowers and get out of the apartment. And so, of course, Tatsuya had been drug along whether he liked it or not. He looks from the map of the center near the entrance to his friend, a smile on his face.

"Anyplace you want to go?"

Tue, 12 Jun 2007 03:29:47 GMT

How Jun had managed to worm his way out of the Suou brothers' grasps is anyone's guess to venture. But the slim boy is making his way to the Nexus, a handfull of primroses in one hand, and a bag of frosted cookies in the other. To any of the residents of Sumaru, it appeared that this attractive looking uh...girl? guy? was taking presents to his date.

If Jun knew that anyone was thinking that, especially the girl part, they'd be knocked flat in under a minute under the coldest glare they could ever hope to see. But, since he is blissfully unaware, he slowly makes his way to the portal and leaves Sumaru in search of his friends.

After locating his usual deserted corner of the multiverse, Jun sets his flowers in a vase nearby and sets the bag of cookies next to it on a table. He'd left messages with his friends to come find him if they were free, so for now he holes up in a chair, reading a book and waiting.

((Open))

A question of home

Sun, 20 May 2007 15:45:01 GMT

Katsuya's apartment, a complete mess from police raids months before, only reminds Jun again of his sins. How he'd manipulated the police force in an attempt to take Katsuya, the other person he knew was important to Tatsuya, and to kill him or break him. Facing Katsuya might be harder than facing his other again.

None of that mattered now. The police were picking up the pieces and were free from Nyarlathotep's clutches again. Katsuya's apartment, Jun knew, was safe. So it was there, among the rubble and mess, that he passed out on the floor in and simply slept.

For how long, he doesn't know. Only that it was morning when he awoke, and that Tatsuya was still there, sleeping. He doesn't feel any stronger than he did in The Velvet Room, but true to his nature Jun shuffles around the familiar place, ignoring the pain in his body and begins picking up some of the mess. He tries not to wake Tatsuya as he works.

So this will end everything...

Sat, 19 May 2007 08:23:56 GMT

In the timeless embrace of the Velvet Room, Jun wakes for the first time in months. Beladonna's song cuts clear into his ears, and there's a feeling in his chest, warm and homey, that for a moment he can't describe.

Hermes

The name drifts into his mind and Jun could cry right there, even not knowing a single other thing about how long he's been there, or what all has happened.

He hasn't had his Persona for a long time.

From where he sits, perched in his chair, Igor gives a crooked grin half hidden by his hooked nose to Jun. "So you did wake, good for you. You're friends went through a lot of trouble to go fetch you."

Jun pales, and looks at the proprietor of this sanctuary. His friends? In an instant the trials they'd gone through come to the surface.

Katsuya, Miss Rebecca, Ramon and Hippolyta (it took him a moment to recall them and the Nexus), and...Tatsuya. All of them had come to Nyarlathotep's stronghold. They'd been ready of course, and Jun had sent wave after wave of demons at them in hopes of driving them away.

They had cut, shot, and plowed their way through everything, with the same solid intentions as Jun remembered Tatsuya's group having on The Other Side so long ago. Jun felt sick, thinking at how he had been the one to order their deaths.

How he has gotten up and challenged them once they had arrived at his hideout. Jun trembles on the floor of the Velvet Room. He'd lost, but once he had been defeated he knew what lay before them.

Nyarlathotep.

With the strings of his puppet severed, Jun knew...he knew what the God would do. A personal hell, mental torment publicly put out for all the others to see. The same display that had eventually broken Jun so many months before.

Had any of them caved? Weakened their resolve? Jun doesn't know. He doesn't know how any of them fared. Only that someone had to, because he's here in the Velvet Room, and for once The Voices are gone.

"Don't shake so much, you. It's no wonder you were possessed so easily.." Igor studies Jun with a noncomittal chuckle and nods, "after all, yer other half of your Self has been stuck here. How can anyone with half a soul stand up to the Crawling Chaos, hm?" He laughs quietly, and points his cane at Jun. "Now, can you stand? No one's going to pick you up, now. You're on your own again..."

On his own...

Jun nods, and carefully, shakily, gets to his feet. There were no strings, there was no will other than his own. Weak as he was, Jun smiles when he notes a primrose tucked neatly in his shirt pocket. A symbol of hope.

He looks around, to see if maybe someone else was still there...He had many thanks to give, and many more apologies. It was time to start living again. Jun hopes he still remembers how.

((OOC: Here's the ficpost sort of tying up the threads of this plot. After I get some sleep, I'll probably put up Katsuya's mindfuck experience up here. Sorry again that this didn't work out..))

(OOC Not dead!)

Sat, 19 May 2007 07:52:49 GMT

((Well, I first want to apologize to everyone that was going with me in that plot. It's no excuse for not telling anyone or showing up, but I've had soem really bad RL issues to fumble through, and there just hasn't been room for RP.

But school is out now, and I'm trying to get back into the hang of things. Since I'm not the only one thta's having toruble writing of late, I"m deciding to ficpost the key points of the plot here on Jun's journal rather than having us plow through it.

If anyone would like to ficpost their traumatic mindfuck of a secret that the rest of the group saw in the dungeon, contact me or write it up and link it under the focpost I'll be putting up here shortly.

Sorry again guys. I hope I can get back into this.))

A Duel [locked and slowthreaded to blindbandit]

Wed, 07 Feb 2007 04:30:15 GMT

Jun appears in a remote area of the Nexus, with no minions at his side. Demons from Sumaru didn't particularly care for the Nexus, or anywhere that was not his home dimension. He grins from behind his mask, and hurls an iris at a nearby passerby. The smile only grins when the floral attack hits the target and the woman doubles over in pain.

So the Anti-Violence field didn't work here...excellent. He puts the woman out of her misery and tosses her body into the dimension door to Sumaru. Dinner for his minions.

With his test finished, Jun simply pulls out another iris and waits for his adversary to show up.

Wed, 07 Feb 2007 03:46:09 GMT

I am thou
Thou art I

We are the same.

You are me.
You are this.

You are everything you have fought so hard to get rid of.
They are coming, Joker.

The Persona wielders. Take the Joker within you.
Stop them. Kill them all.

Obliterate your shadow. That vile doppleganger.
This is Father's will.

No tears come anymore. The puppeteer has his strings deep within Jun, controlling everything now. Jun watches the world around him from his perch above the edge of the multiverse.

Maybe somewhere, Jun still lives. But he has no control anymore.

Joker waits, a puppet even in the fringes of the Nexus now. Soon he would go to Sumaru again and do his bidding. It was only a matter of time.

((open thread to celebrate my return to internet! :D))

OOC Notice

Mon, 22 Jan 2007 01:42:25 GMT

((So that everyone knows, I'm putting a link Here too.

No computer for a bit. Sorry guys. I'll be back as soon as I can.))

For just one moment...

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 17:20:34 GMT

Things were going so well!

Why? Why why why WHY?!

Is it another one? Is it mine? Is it...Father, tell me please! Is he one of your shadows? Father...Is he real?

All I can do for now is watch from a distance. The Resonance...it is strong. He might be real. He..h-he...Can't let him see me. Can't let him see 'Joker-sama'. Protect Tatsuya. Yes.

Yes. P-protect...kill. No. No! No, don't send me back yet Father! I'm not betraying you! I'll kill the others--Baofu, Katsuya-san, M..even Maya-nee if you..if you wish it. But..! Don't erase everything. I don't want to forget! How can I forget! Please...no...no..

T-tatsuya...

...

((Curse my lack of internets! ;-; I go and miss this wonderful debut. But I did see it today, and thus, this. Yay, a Tatsuya!))

Private, Sumaru Observations

Mon, 18 Dec 2006 00:20:39 GMT

The cat has come back to play....

I do enjoy a good hunt.

Run while you can. Your dreams will never be realized. I will destroy everything you care for. Everyone you care for.

One by one. And then, then Father's dream can become reality. I will not fail.

I cannot fail.

HehehehahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

My Place [private]

Mon, 13 Nov 2006 05:45:24 GMT

That man...Seifer. I need to speak with him again sometime. This could be what I've been looking for.

Seems Suou has eluded the police for now. No matter. In time, Father, in time. I won't forgive him, nor any of the others, make no mistake. I know my place.

To the Nexus soon, perhaps. There are others to speak with. Your Dream will be realized, Father.

I promise.

Another Place, Another Time

Mon, 30 Oct 2006 01:43:14 GMT

Jun's in the Nexus, though far, far away from the main area where all the people go to mingle and ask their questions. Far away from the ignorant masses he had no control of here. Things were going smoothly in Sumaru. With anyone that had stood against him before either oblivious or absent from the city, Jun had been able to slowly change things from the inside out.

Corrupting officials here, meeting up with old supporters in hiding there...Jun's job as the Joker had been busy of late. So many summonings from people calling themselves. So many wishes to grant, and so many prices to set.

But none of that concerns him now.

Jun sits, dressed in the white and black of the Joker. His mask is off, and he's playing an old organ left by it's lonesome here in the multiverse. The tune is deep, sad, and slow. It speaks of another time, before all of this. Another place, lit up in flames. Jun plays, letting his subconscious write his music for him.

It's these little things that keep that small bit of him here. The small bit of Jun that still is.

((Open thread))

Caring for your toys

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 18:10:32 GMT

Jun's home is empty and dark. On This Side, Jun's parents aren't useful to His goals. They've both been killed weeks ago, their bodies fed to the demons to leave not a trace of their remains.

Rumor has it that his family has gone on vacation. So, no trouble comes to this makeshift toybox where Jun sits in a dark corner. When He does not need him, Jun spends many hours here, sitting and staring at the far wall. A puppet with no one to pull the strings.

It's times like these, with hours of contemplation at his disposal, that Jun ponders on his choice. On his decision to break and allow himself to be used like this.

Jun isn't gone completely. And he knows that He is not his father. There is no one left for Jun. And if he is not here, where else can he be? This is his place, and as Jun thinks this the tears start to fall.

Here.

In this toybox where no one comes to play except for God.

The door opens and like every other time his thoughts have gone too far, 'Tatsuya' steps in. Jun knows it's not him. It never is. Never will be again.

But he caves everytime. Looking at that face and wondering like a bad dream if this will be the time it's real and that he'll finally help Jun out of the Hell he's fallen into again.

It never happens.

'Tatsuya' sits with him, talks to him, does whatever Jun asks. Usually, Jun huddles in his corner, making this shadow hold him, and tries to pretend that it's someone real that really cares. It puts his fevered mind at ease, these delusions.

They are enough, these shadows, to keep Jun at that edge of insanity. His lonlieness and weakness exploited to make him calm again. Calm enough to control so perfectly. Calm enough to not care when He wakes him again.

"Joker-sama...are you ready?"

Jun stands in his corner, Shadow long gone from his side. His mask is plucked from the floor next to him.

"Hai..."

Heh

Sat, 21 Oct 2006 23:27:21 GMT

I can't believe he left and didn't warn anyone. I couldn't ask for something so perfect.

Hehehe.

Fun times.

[Private]

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 04:37:44 GMT

Ha! HAHAHAHA!!

Soon this pathetic insect won't be able to fight back at all. He's nearly enveloped in self delusion.

Oh Jun. How easily you manipulate even yourself. I suppose there is a such thing as being too skilled at something.

Fall into the shadows with me.

You want what I have. I can grant you that power, Jun. All you need is to fall a bit farther....

Tarot Meme

Wed, 27 Sep 2006 03:13:54 GMT

You scored as X - Wheel of Fortune. The Wheel of Fortune represents the cyclical nature of all reality. Life is change. Stability is stagnation. All things pass. Yet for all that things change, the essentials remain the same. The wheel turns - day becomes night becomes day, rain becomes sun becomes rain, joy becomes pain becomes joy. If well aspected in a Tarot reading, this card can indicate good fortune through change, the wheel turning for now to a better position. If badly aspected this card can indicate what appears to be misfortune. It can also represent resistance to the inevitability of change.

</td>

X - Wheel of Fortune

88%

XIII: Death

81%

XVI: The Tower

69%

II - The High Priestess

69%

I - Magician

69%

VI: The Lovers

63%

VIII - Strength

50%

0 - The Fool

50%

IV - The Emperor

50%

XV: The Devil

44%

XIX: The Sun

31%

III - The Empress

31%

XI: Justice

25%

Which Major Arcana Tarot Card Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com

Hehe....At least that hasn't changed. Explains a few things, doesn't it?

OOC - So here's the deal

Wed, 20 Sep 2006 05:40:50 GMT

(( Oookay~! Those of you deep in the inside of Jun's little plot can ignore this for the most part. This is just a general what have you for all of Jun's friends that don't know what's going on or the like.

First off, I did mean to do this to him. It's been a planned plot arc for a long time, and will not be over with anytime soon. I've tried to ICly warn a few people about this, but I want to be clear in case anyone's confused, because then I feel bad XD.

Jun is currently reverted back to the White Joker, which...instead of me going over all of Innocent Sin here, I will simply say that he is a puppet of the god Nyarlathotep (No, not the same one from the Spiderman Nexus thing. Roll with me here). Nyarlathotep may or may not show up on his own later on (this depends on the mun that will or will not be playing him).

My point here simply is this. Yes, feel free to ICly worry about Jun. Yes, you may be pissed off about his becoming Joker-sama and not being as cool and friendly as he was before. I love every single one of his IC friends, and am really sorry that he's being a dick to them now.

But please. If you want to stage a fight between Jun (and possibly later Nyarlathotep) and your character, CONTACT ME. I have a plot that is not going on directly in the Nexus involved with this, and said plot is the only reason Jun is the way he is at all. I haven't decided when I'm changing him back yet, or how I want it done. For now, while I would love to stage skirmishes or the like, whether or not your pup wins or loses the fight (Jun isn't invincible after all), he's NOT pre-maturely dying or reverting back.

I'm really sorry if there's been any confusion here. I should have explained a bit earlier.

Thank you for your trouble.))

Defeat

Mon, 18 Sep 2006 03:59:52 GMT

Three days.

Three days of nonstop nightmares and blackouts. Three days of voices, of hallucinations, of sickness and screaming.

Jun hasn't had the energy to flee to the Nexus. He's stayed holed up in Katsuya's apartment, hiding in Tatsuya's room. He hasn't slept save for the black outs that plague him at any random interval. He'd known refusing Nyarlathotep would make things worse. Jun knew fighting would end in more pain. Still, nothing but his will has been keeping him here, keeping him Jun.

This blew away what he'd expected.

Alone in the small apartment, his mind preys on him, attacking every angle and confusing Jun to the point of shuddering in a corner of Tatsuya's room, clutching a yellow iris to him.

There are no thoughts of Jun's own anymore. At least, none the boy can pick out for himself. He wants to give in. Jun wants to surrender. No...he wants this to be over. He wants to defeat Nyarlathotep. ...Tatsuya. Defeat Tatsuya? Isamu? Toph?? Had they betrayed him too?

Everyone. They had all left him. Every single one of them had left. Just like Tatsuya. No one cared. That's right, Jun. No one does care for you. They don't trust you. No, they don't.

"They don't..." Tears stream down Jun's face and he shakes again.

The door to the apartment opens, and Jun looks up slowly. A middle aged man smiles down to Jun, dropping to one knee and putting his hand on Jun's head. The faintest hints of a sneer are on his face.

"You don't have to hide behind your mother's name, Jun....I told you I'm tired of this cat and mouse game. Don't hate me, because I'm all there is left. Everyone else is gone. You have no one..." Jun doesn't flinch at his touch. Nyarlathotep's hand is not shoved away.

Father.

He'd done all this, and still his Father was willing to take him in. Jun didn't have to be alone, there would be someone there for him.

"Show me your true colors, Jun Kashihara...Can you become the demon in white for me? You will gather these foolish humans. I will give you that power again. Do not fail me this time, Joker-san." While Nyarlathotep speaks, Jun stares down at the floor, a blue circle glowing around him.

The Joker Persona slowly comes into focus, and Jun climbs to his feet. There's a pulse of dark aura from the boy, and in Jun's place stands The White Joker, tucking a yellow iris into his white shirt pocket.

"This is where I am meant to be." Jun murmurs from behind his mask, a faraway tone in his voice.

"You cannot atone. Instead, do as you were made to, Kashihara Jun, nay....Joker-sama. You are mine to command." Nyarlathotep laughs from behind his human guise, and the Joker only bows in reply.

Jun Kuroda is no more.

Come to me

Fri, 15 Sep 2006 01:31:32 GMT

Jun hides in the Nexus until he's too tired to do much anything else. He hasn't blacked out yet, hasn't given in to any of the voices. Once in Sumaru he immediately feels His gaze on him. Always Jun is watched. Nyarlathotep might not be able to keep track of him so well in the Nexus, but here in Sumaru, there was no hiding.

He gets back to the apartment and opens the door. A Seven Sister's school jacket is cast aside on the floor. Jun freezes.

"...Hn. You came back." Slowly, Jun's gaze moves to the living room. What looks to be Tatsuya sits there, looking as apathetic as ever. There's a happy glint in his eyes. Jun feels his insides turn to ice. Was it...really...

"..T-tatsuya?!" Jun can't help the relief in his voice. He wasn't alone. Someone finally, could help him.

"...If you want me to be..., then yes." The shadow climbs to his feet, walking over to the broken Jun. He's so upset he doesn't even notice, can't even tell until he has his hands around Jun's throat and those eyes glow so wonderfully in the dim apartment.

"..Hngg! T-tatsu...!!" Jun's eyes widen. This..it can't be. This can't be happening!

"I'm getting tired of this game of cat and mouse, Joker-san." His breath on Jun's face is ice cold. Why did it have to be this shadow, his best friend? "Quit fighting and maybe I'll give you this one." While Jun trembles, terrified in the shadow's grasp, 'Tatsuya' laughs, before fading away into nothing.

Jun crumples to the floor, shaking all over. He sobs in fear, in anguish, and in pain. This had to stop. It HAD to. Jun can't take much more. Not of this.

((Lala, open thread. No one will be able to see signs of anyone else being there, but Jun will still be sitting there :3))

Familiar Streets; A friend in tow [Tag neotokyorebel]

Sun, 10 Sep 2006 23:26:50 GMT

Jun offers directions as best as he can to Kaneda as they speed through the portal leading back to the streets of downtown Sumaru City. Here Jun knows where to go exactly. He knows this city inside and out. One shouted direction after another, and soon they're in a small parking lot behind a tall apartment complex in the Konan district of the city.

The light is dim, evening in the city and the streetlights can't quite cut the gloom that the building's shadow creates. Jun shakily gets off the motorcycle, thanking his luck of being able to be on foot again rather than the bike. It wasn't his favorite way to travel, and besides. Riding gave him memories. Memories Jun can never forget, but would rather not have in the front of his mind all the time.

Slowly he makes his way to the entrance of the building, then up the stairs to the third floor. During this time Jun says little to Kaneda, other than the occasional 'this way' or 'up ahead'. Coming back to Sumaru always put him in more danger. In Sumaru, there was no escape.

He unlocks the door to the apartment and stands there a moment, eyes glazed over while he stares straight ahead. But then he's back, back to normal and he tugs open the door with a small nod to his friend. "Katsuya's not home right now, but he won't mind if you stay. We've had random guests over before, so...hehehe. Don't worry."

OOC --- YouTube owns my soul :D

Sat, 09 Sep 2006 00:50:59 GMT

Yes, Persona 2 spoilers, both for Innocent Sin and...I guess Eternal Punishment by proxy. >_>

Persona Anime Trailer.
It comes with Eternal Punishment. It's sort of more tended toward Innocent Sin though. Fun stuff! :D

Opening to Eternal Punishment!
Also good stuff! Oooh Butterflies.

Opening for Innocent Sin.
Because this is Jun's LJ and I should have him in there too XD Yaaay fun stuff.

I won't post the ending cgs here because if you're really that interested in the ending you should either play the games or go look yourself B|

I feel bad pimping out endings to really good games. Though I might post the Innocent Sin one later just because most people in the States will never play it. Hnn..But..that's another time.

The Dream --[Private]

Sat, 02 Sep 2006 03:02:18 GMT

Horns. Engines. Footsteps, the steps of thousands walking through Sumaru City. So many irksome things. Parasites, blindly letting themselves be led astray by their lack of vision.

They are to be pitied, to be led by someone that knows, someone that sees. A bird's eye view of them marching like the insects they are up and down their roads.

Stop. Listen.

All grows still. A surge of satisfaction; perhaps these insects aren't beyond salvation just yet. Good.

Listen. LISTEN TO ME. Blank stares, empty expressions greet the eye. So much glee at this, laughter is the only reply. They were blind. They would follow. After all, no one was indispensable. The goal...it was more than attainable with these. Willing hosts. Willing victims. Father will be pleased.

"Pathetic, misguided humans, scattered far across this wretched Earth, obey me!" Looking down on them all, one empty face after another. "Only I can lead you, the ignorant!"

A few disconcerted faces. Deal with them, and down, cut them down. Blood, spill it on the cement. A rush! Instant jubilation and rush from the killing. Again, all those blank faces staring back at him.

"Heh. If you will not obey me, then you will DIE!"

Mindless acceptance. Good, very good. No problem controlling these drones.

A place to belong. Here. Leading these insects. Better than mourning. Better than facing an empty future, yes? Come back. Back here. Back to this. The rush of killing, the power over the masses.

Come back, Joker-sama.

"...Hn?! Uwah!" Jun's eyes snap open, and he jerks upright in his bed suddenly. It takes him several seconds to realize where he is, but when he does, Jun simply draws up his knees and shudders slightly.

The voices again. The dreams were getting more vivid.

"..No." Not dreams, Jun corrects. Memories. The voices he'd been hearing in his dreams for months...but this...when had his own voice grown indistinguishable from his? Another great shudder, and Jun stares down at his hands.

There would be no more sleep for him tonight. Instead, he curls up in the corner of the room and stares out the window, trying again in vain to forget about all of this.

If this place was truly where he belonged, here in the Nexus and This Side to atone, then why did he long inside for that darkness? How much longer would he hold onto himself?

[Absolutely locked from Persona Cast and Becky]-- Confession

Thu, 17 Aug 2006 17:18:36 GMT

It shouldn't be possible...

First I lose Hermes...now this. It's inside of me, constantly. The voices too. His voice. I shouldn't have gone there, shouldn't have fought. I let it out, let him out.

I did what shouldn't have been possible to do.

It's been like this since the Other Side. What does he want with me now? I won't play this game. I'm not...I'm not his tool anymore. Even if nothing has changed. Even if the demons here approach and talk to me as though I'm one of them.

I can't tell the others until I know what's going on. I can control this. I'll be fine. They don't need anything else to worry about.

Never. I'm never summoning the Joker again. I'll never be the Joker again. Even if I can't fight at all. Sitting at home isn't so bad. It's better than being the tool of a god.

Is this how I am supposed to atone? Losing everything...everyone...and now this? Enduring it all? I...I hope this is all of it. I can't take much more.

And in the End...

Fri, 28 Jul 2006 04:45:05 GMT

Jun approached the old shrine with a steady, cautious pace. Scanning the area he found nothing; not a soul in the last place. The very last place he had thought to look. By this point, Jun hadn't really expected his searches to yield progress. He'd been all over the city, leaving Katsuya at home so someone was watching the apartment.

Sumaru Prison had been empty. Jun had left a note there for Eikichi. Peace Diner had yielded nothing; apparently it had been weeks since the last visit. None of this was good news to Jun. Seven Sisters High School hadn't gained him anything, though he hadn't really expected to there. In no real order he made his way around town.

All day he searched. All day he came up empty. The story was always the same. Weeks. It had been weeks since the last sighting. Jun didn't know where else to go. It was getting late, and the sun was setting. Jun stared up at the brilliant orange sky with a blank expression.

He got up from the bench on Aoba Drive and made his way over to a cluster of payphones, his hand stroking the petals of the scarlet sage in his shirt pocket. A box was tucked under the other arm. He drops a hundred yen coin into the machine and dials, leaning his head against the plexiglass.

"..Moshi moshi?"

"Katsuya-san? It's Jun. Has..?"

"..No. I haven't left all day. Nothing." Katsuya's voice came out tired, strained. The cop had waited at home all day, doing nothing except cleaning the apartment.

"Oh. Well, I'm going to the shrine. Meet me there?" It was the last place. The only place left to look. Jun couldn't keep the tremble out of his voice as his fingers curled their way around the cord. His gaze was to the streets, to the throng of people bustling around Sumaru.

The pause on the other line almost made Jun repeat himself, but before he could, "Right. I'll be there in ten minutes. Jun..? It will be okay." Jun muttered his agreement without believing a word of it and hung up. In a daze he'd wandered back to Rengedai, up the hill and to the shrine.

A car was parked out front, and Katsuya stepped out when Jun approached, a small package of his own held in one hand. Together, they entered the shrine...

"Nothing.." Katsuya's voice was empty, though the man tried very hard to look neutral as their shadows danced out in front of them.

Jun nodded, dumbly. His breath was caught in his throat, and though all day he'd kept his calm now the tears wouldn't stop. His package slipped from his hands and fell to the ground forgotten while the thin boy covered up his face and sobbed for a few moments.

The sound drug Katsuya from his shell. He patted Jun's shoulder gently, turning his head away so his own pained look couldn't be seen. "I'm sorry, Jun. You...you're welcome to stay still. You know that."

And then, slowly, as if completing some horrible ceremony, Katsuya knelt and set his own package on top of Jun's before getting back to his feet. Behind those blood tinted sunglasses, Katsuya Suou was in pain himself.

"...Happy Birthday Tatsuya." Jun mumbled as he wiped his eyes. He only wished he'd gotten to say goodbye before this. The emptiness that was seeping now, into both men's hearts. If he was truly gone, back to The Other Side, Jun couldn't follow. The portal to The Other Side from Araya was gone.

For Katsuya, there was no family left, none save for Jun. He'd look over the boy that had meant so much to his brother. It was the least he could do. And maybe...it would ease the pain of losing the only thing he'd fought for.

For Jun, as he got into the car and stared off at the shrine, it seemed as though everything was being stripped away. He was hollow now, without his doppelganger. A part of him was gone. Too bad it had been his everything.

Jun slumped in the seat, his head against the window as Katsuya took them back to the apartment. His hands shook, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Happy Birthday....and goodbye."

((If this isn't kosher let me know and I'll take it down ASAP, alright? I wanted to write a bit for Tatsuya's birthday, and that was what came up. ^^; ))